You were my BIGGEST mistake!

This certainly isn't anything I'd prefer to share over the "good" that's happened in my life. I guess this is what happens when you have a bunch of inspiring challenges that come your way though....you get motivated to scrap the good and the bad.  That's what happened in this case anyway.

I was inspired by the newest sketch over at The Scrappiest. Then, I got an email about a challenge over at A Cherry On Top about using only the colors b/w. The newest challenge at Candy Shoppe Designs will be to use an arrow and the real inspiration came with my newest discovery. A challenge blog called Dirty Scraps. Dirty Challenge #2 was to scrap a pivotal time in your life, a changing moment. That was the real motivator for me.

I grew up with the realization that things weren't perfect. My older sisters had boyfriends that would hit them and I would always say "I would NEVER stay with a guy who hit me! I would leave in a heartbeat."

You think you know, but you have no idea! Oh-no! Not until it happens to you.

I lost EVERYTHING because of my loser ex-boyfriend. My family, my friends, my freedom, my dignity and most of all myself. I lost sight of everything important. I lost the little confidence I had and just felt so weak, stuck and alone all of the time. A couple of people I opened up to at work would always tell me "just leave" but it's easier said than done.

In the end I couldn't just leave. I had to escape.....literally. I ended up having law officials at my doorstep one day who explained to me that the police had him in custody for shooting a man in the hand outside of a bar and that they think he's connected to 2 drive-by shootings too. Once I confirmed that the 2 homes that were shot up were my friends homes we concluded that he was in a search to try to find me. Scared isn't even the word to describe the way I felt. He brought me so close to death so many times in our relationship but hearing what they were telling me....I felt like I was already dead.

The world works in mysterious ways doesn't it? He had a lawyer as a dad, an outstanding military record, a very crooked lawyer on retainer and a very rich uncle who was always willing to get him out of his troubles. So, these guys wanted to let me know that he was likely to get out on bail. Yeah!

They planned an escape route in the little apartment I lived in at the time and gave me a cell phone that could only call out to 911 and told me to use it if he ever found me. So basically, they were telling me I had to live my life in fear.

I've moved on in my life as best I could. I tend to block out the negative and just think of the positive. I'm thankful that I get to LIVE everyday and I don't ever dwell on what was. I value my caring and supportive husband and my 4 precious children and I thank God for the courage to finally have left him for good that last time.

People say that they have no regrets in life and that things happen for a reason. I'm one of those people and I know I have come out stronger because of this. Still, he was a mistake I wish I never made.

The hidden journaling reads: "I look back at my life and know that I've made many mistakes along the way. Yet, my only regret was meeting him. He called me stupid but he didn't know I was smart enough to leave him. He will always be remembered as the biggest mistake of my life!"